// KYWIC//

was GREAT!

I think for me the panel discussions were the most insightful, along with Jennifer Marsman’s keynote! Hopefully I get to go to the next regional conference and I too, will be on a panel telling my story/giving advice & insight. This time after I left I couldn’t help feeling like the conference should have lasted another day… 
Anyways, I’m happy I got to make my geek jewelry again, but I’m realizing I probably won’t bother with it anymore.  As soon as I got back to my room, one of them broke. And the next day I wore my second pair, and one fell out of my ear at some point. I just can’t win with keyboard earrings… It’s fine though, that was the least important part about the whole experience. The best part is that I got to network and get realistic opinions & advice about entering the workforce straight out of college. I also gave my resume to a couple of companies at the career fair, and I’ll be emailing some more out later on (once I get all of my business cards & brochures in order).
I’m really hoping to go to the Grace Hopper conference in October too.
These conferences REALLY help me, support wise. Women’s conferences mean a lot of girl power, and that’s always cool. Even if being outnumbered in this field isn’t even my initial source of worrying and uncertainty about where I stand, the encouragement and helpful tips helps me all the same. And I think once I actually graduate and get back to Memphis where my old support system is, things will get even better, and it will come easier for me to start believing in myself.

// Looking up Computer Science jobs.//

As a future fresh graduate, I don’t seem to qualify for any of them.
Austin Peay doesn’t bother giving tips on finding jobs/internships in your field. They didn’t even bother telling us about computer science certifications.
I’m just thinking what good is the degree I’m about to get? People still want you to have 3+ years experience in everything… Like where am I supposed to get that from if all the jobs require me to have some already?

If I hear one more person tell me I won’t have trouble finding a job because I’m in a field of computers, its going to take everything out of me not to pop them in the mouth. 

It ain’t that easy homie. I’ma be FRESH outta school. My field makes NO difference in my chances of getting a job. Economy’s still bad, and companies still want you to be a seasoned genius before they consider hiring you. 

Bet I’ma be one of these people with a degree on the wall in the house that I never use unless there’s an emergency. I’ma move on to something else if I can’t find a job by the time I have to start paying back loans. I ain’t got time to be broke all my life.

// Doubting = Luck?//

I’m glad that whenever I’m in a panic about something, it usually turns out to be something I can handle with ease. Especially when it comes to school. I thought this ASP.Net class would be a bunch of stuff I wouldn’t understand. The course number (4650) and the title intimidated me because 1- Graduate level classes always make me nervous when I haven’t taken them yet and 2- I don’t know anything about ASP.net. But what do you know, we’re learning it in VB script, which is like the easiest programming language in the world! The book teaches it in C# too, but I’m not worried about that because he’s not teaching it in that language. I’m going to keep the book though, just in case I get a job that requires me to be familiar with it.
But I’m not going to to get excited and overly confident about this course either, because when that happens, I don’t do as well as I think. It should be the other way around…

// 10 MORE DAYS UNTIL I LEAVE FOR SCHOOL.//

I must say, I can’t believe I’m supposed to graduate this spring. I almost think its some sort of trick.
Like, my advisor coulda been runnin game when he told me I was gonna make it out in 4 years. He’s Asian, you never know with them…

Kidding. But seriously. Wow man… I don’t know what I’m gonna do when school’s over! I get kinda nervous thinking about it. Seeing everybody else with a plan and me not knowing what to formulate one out of? Kinda scary. I don’t think high school prepared me very well.

It used to make me feel good when people tell me how smart I am and how I’ll do well once I graduate. I used to blush and whatnot like “Aww thanks!” But now, I’m like… it doesn’t really mean anything if I’m smart. If I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or how to get something, I’ll be working at Wal-Mart just like everybody who DIDN’T go to college. Plus I’m not that high above just because I make good grades. Sure I been makin Dean’s List… but by a little inch of a hair. There are plentyyy people way smarter than me, getting important corporate positions at Google and Apple.  
Sometimes I think when graduation comes, as soon as the ceremony ends I’m gonna be standing in the middle of the room, alone, holding my CSCI Bachelor’s  like “Now what?”

 Maybe I’m thinking about it too much?

*cue encouraging words from my followers*